One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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