is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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