I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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