i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize