Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
