There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
