there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Found the puke drawer
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
false alarm, still single
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize