Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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