I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
