The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
