He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
