I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
