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Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize