areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
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