I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
