I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Randomize
