I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
