If that was your dad, he is hot
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just had sex bonerless
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
