never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
