wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
