I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
