Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
