Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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