I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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