"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
