you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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