YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
