Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
