Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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