He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
