I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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