omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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