so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
