sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
