im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
