Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
