I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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