You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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