After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize