it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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