I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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