I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
