Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
