Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
