with your own penis?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
