jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
