i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
