Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize