me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I pour the whiskey from now on
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
