Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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