one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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