STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
