i think i have two assholes
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
