so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
