Where did you get a picture of my penis
I can tuck mytits in my pants
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
