At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
