You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
