What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Randomize
