Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
