he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I could fuck to npr.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
