last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
