But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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