You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
