you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
