As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
