Got a toothbrush?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
