just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize