turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
